Welcome
to Poetry Friday! This week’s round up is hosted by Tabatha Yeatts:The Opposite of Indifference blog. Be sure to check out all the great
posts.
This
week, I’m tackling the Lune form of poetry. The Lune also goes by
the name American Haiku. It was originally created by Robert Kelly.
Kelly didn’t feel the rules of the traditional Haiku worked well
with the English language. His Lune consists of a 13-syllable,
self-contained poem that has 5 syllables in the first line, 3
syllables in the second line and 5 syllables in the last line. Here
is an example of a Kelly-Lune I came up with this afternoon:
Naked
limbs shiver
Missing
leaves
No
cold winter coat
Copyright
2018 Kimberly M. Hutmacher
Lune
rhymes with moon. Notice that in a Kelly-Lune, the poem takes the
shape of a crescent moon. This is no accident. Also, the 13 syllables
correspond to the 13 lunar months.
A
variant of the Lune was created by Jack Collom. His form is also
three lines, but his is word-based, not syllable based. His structure
has 3 words in the first line, 5 words in the second line and 3 words
in the last line.
The
following are examples of Collom-Lunes created by my daughter,
Madison.
Chocolate
brown pond
Puffy
marshmallow clouds on top
Comfy,
cozy, toasty
Sweet
frosty mountains
Running
with chocolate syrup rivers
Cherry
on peak
Take
a journey
Into
a beautiful, magical land
Imaginations
run wild.
Copyright
2018 Madison Hutmacher
Challenge:
Attempt to write both a Kelly-Lune and a Collom-Lune on the same
topic.
Happy
Poem-Making!
P.S. Earlier this week I posted a review of Laura Pudie Salas' new book, MEET MY FAMILY. If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to click over. This book is a treasure.
I like your winter poem. Nice imagery. Your daughter has a knack for poetry too. The two about chocolate are especially wonderful. I love the chocolate theme and the unexpected in both.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Books4Learning! :)
DeleteYour daughter is making me hungry! LOL Great lunes. I'm a loon for lunes.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think she must have been hungry/thirsty when she wrote these (ice cream and hot chocolate themes). Love your word play with Lune/loon :)
DeleteEnjoyed learning about the Lune form and reading your poem. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThank you, jama! :)
DeleteI didn't know about these variations on haiku. I like them and will give them a try sometime.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kay! :)
DeleteThanks for sharing about lunes today! I didn't know about either kind. My special favorite is your daughter's "sweet frosty mountains." Delicious!
ReplyDeleteYes Tabatha, that Lune made me hungry :)
DeleteInteresting new (to me) haiku forms! Well played -- both you and your daughter!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary Lee!
DeleteIt's snowing again here in Denver, so the trees still shiver. Love that you shared some of the background of the poems and your and your daughter's, too.
ReplyDeleteI noticed just yesterday that our trees are beginning to bud. We're hopeful the shivering is coming to an end and spring is finally here for real :)
DeleteSuch fun! Thank you for introducing us to these Lunes and for inviting us to try out our own!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Kiesha. If you end up trying them out, please feel free to share them here. I would love to read them :)
DeleteThese are fun! I just heard of lunes recently when a student introduced me to them.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ruth! :)
DeleteI loved learning about both types of lunes. Another fun form to try! Thanks to you and your daughter for some fine mentors and for the challenge! (Our trees are shivering here still as well, but I'm hopeful that will change soon. )
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoy the challenge, Molly, and I hope the limbs in your area stop shivering soon! :)
DeleteBoth of these forms are new to me and sound like they'll be fun to play with. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeletereadingtothecore, thank you for stopping by :)
DeleteI liked learning about this new haiku form and that the Lune takes the shape of a crescent moon, fun poems here, thanks Kimberly!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle :)
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberly, these forms are new to me, though my haiku are often 10-13 syllables because, as you say, the rules for Japanese haiku don't translate perfectly for our language. I love your Lune about the cold winter branches, and your daughter's chocolate poems are delightful.
ReplyDeletelonging for warm spring
maple buds
wake to snow and ice
maple buds burst
wake to snow and ice
longing for spring
Joyce Ray, thank you for sharing your poems. They are lovely!
DeleteLove this poem of yours and plan to try making some lune poems.
ReplyDeleteCheriee, I'm looking forward to reading your Lunes. Thanks for stopping by :)
Delete