Weather is full
of the nicest sounds:
it sings
and rustles
and pings
and pounds
and hums
and tinkles
and strums
and twangs
and twangs
and whishes
and sprinkles
and splishes
and bangs
and mumbles
and grumbles
and rumbles
and flashes
and CRASHES.
I wonder
if thunder
frightens a bee,
a mouse in her house,
a bird in a tree,
a bear
or a hare
or a fish in the sea?
or a fish in the sea?
Not me!
In my ongoing journey as a writer, I like to deconstruct and study the work of other writers. I sometimes do this exercise at school visits, as well. This week, I decided to dissect this poem.
1. The first thing I notice is that it is written with quite a bit of rhyme. I worked through the rhyme scheme. You'll notice how the scheme changes about half-way through. I also noticed some internal rhyme added- mouse in her house.
2. Next, I looked for poetic tools/literary devices that the poet may have used. Onomatopoeia is definitely queen of this poem. Sound words are so much fun to immitate and to listen to. These sounds help to create images of different kinds of weather in my mind. They help me to hear it and to see it vivdly.
3. Consonance. The repetitive sh sound in crashes, flashes, splishes, whishes.
4. Assonance. The repetitive ee sound in bee, tree, sea, and me. Repetitive sounds are FUN!
5. Most of the poem consists of this fun list of sounds, but then we are given some questions to ponder. Sometimes weather sounds can be frightening, but the author turns this theory upside down, and says, no, I'm not afraid, but what about bears, hares, fish, bees, and mice? It's a perfect poetic twist. Do you like to write about weather? Do you enjoy deconstructing poetry? Was there anything that you particularly liked/disliked about this poem?
This week's Poetry Friday is hosted by Going To Walden blog. Be sure to stop by and check out all of this week's inspiring posts.
As always, thanks for stopping by, and Happy Poem-Making!
Aileen Fisher is great to use as a mentor poet! Her poems are fun to read aloud. I can see some extra rhymes here, like B and E, G and J, and H and K. Interesting how she changed up her rhyme scheme in the middle...thanks for getting us to take a close look!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tabatha. This particular anthology was published by Scholastic in 1965. Her change in rhyme scheme is another one of those things I might hesitate to do in my own writing. Her risks inspire me to take more risks.
DeleteLoved reading your ponderings - and this very noisy poem! I don't tend to write about weather much... Unless its a seasonal reference in haiku.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kat. I don't know what it is about the weather, but I do seem to notice and write about every facet of it :) Weather or not, I thoroughly enjoy the poetry you share.
DeleteThank-you! 😊
DeleteWhat a fun poem -- you've made me want to read more of Fisher's poetry. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, jama! Fisher's work is a treasure.
DeleteYour post made me realize how much I write about the weather. I love your deconstruction notes
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jone! It's nice to know I'm not alone in my weather obssession :)
Deleteoooooooooh! You've helped me tremendously! I'm putting together a Poetry Brackets contest for my school and this one really fits the bill for onomatopeioa. Not only that, but this week I am studying Aileen Fisher after watching Renee LaTulippe & Lee Bennett Hopkins American Children's Poets Episode #2. I chose Aileen Fisher as my mentor for this week's writing....and this is not a poem I had or knew. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSo glad this post could help with the contest! Aileen Fisher is a poetic treasure. I hope you'll shar esome of your work from using her poems as mentor text. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI will. And, I'm linking to this post in my look at Aileen Fisher. I think it will be next weekend, Feb 1st....unless something else poet-y comes up.
DeleteWeather is a compelling subject Kimberly. We frequently discuss despite our total inability to do anything about it. I too enjoy it as an inspiration for poetry. I enjoyed Aileen's poem and your deconstruction of its component parts. The poem proved to be rich in literary elements. This 'noticing' is something we must train our poet's eye and ear to do.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Alan. I love reading poetry just for the pure enjoyment, but if we're going to write it, I think we need to know how the poets built the beautiful poems we love to read.
DeleteKat Apel referred to your post after reading my Poetry Friday offering called "Gray-Day Pondering." She commented, "It (my poem) links in well with Kimberly's poem deconstruction post, too." I really like how you noticed and wondered to give readers new insight into the poem you took to deconstruct. My post is at http://beyondliteracylink.blogspot.com/2019/01/gray-day-pondering.html. I would love to hear your comments.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Carol. I'm heading over to read your post righ now.
DeleteI love to share real-life examples of someone "unpacking" a poem! I'll definitely share this with my students!
ReplyDeleteI love the term 'unpacking", Mary Lee. Thanks for stopping by :)
DeleteI'm so glad you shared your deconstruction of this poem! It's a great example to share with students. And what a fun poem! I don't often write about weather, but your post is nudging me to return to a poem I wrote last week during the much hyped snowstorm. Thanks again for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Molly.
DeleteDelightful and rich pome Kimberly. I love how the quick rhythm pulls us down to the bottom and twists back at us at the end. I'm constantly writing about the weather too and it's relationship to nature, thanks for the deconstruction too!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you enjoyed it, Michelle. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteFun! It would definitely be a great one to use when teaching onomatopoeia!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ruth. That's exactly what I thought.
DeleteI absolutely adore this poem, Kimberly! I think it will be perfect to share with my Kindergarten poets. Our curriculum, including weather, is year-round rather than unit after unit. I think this would make the perfect mentor text for us to craft our own. Many, many thanks, and happy Poetry Friday!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you enjoyed it and that you plan to use it with your class. I hope you'll share some of their creations from using it as a mentor text.
DeleteMy first thought was what a fun poem! Then your deconstruction explains why in a way that is relatable and not at all poetic scary. I do love the word and sound play with the rhyme, repetition and onomatopoeia. Then the questions at the end give more to think about.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kay! I think 'poetic scary' is what I felt when I was being taught poetry in middle school. It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned to truly enjoy poetry and found a good mentor to help me figure out its ins and outs. It feels good to know that I'm successfully taking the scary out. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteThis reminds me of a really great fish poem by Mary Ann Hoberman, full of sounds and action. I think you might like it too! http://myjuicylittleuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/09/growing-gills.html
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I love Mary Ann Hoberman, and this would be a perfect pairing for a lesson on Onomatopeia. Thank you for stopping by and sharing this little treasure with me.
DeleteVery helpful analysis--thank you! I also love Mary Ann Hoberman's "Fish" and use it in my poetry workshops. I also find myself writing about weather a lot--endless inspiration!
ReplyDelete